I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful,
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.
Mirror by Sylvia Plath
Through the lens of photography, my project "Heautoscopy" is an exploration into the elusive nature of identity. It peers into the essence of the performer within, a figure in perpetual motion and ever-ready for the stage.
I delve into the depths of self-exploration, seeking to unravel the enigma: Who am I when the spotlight dims and the audience disperses? Who is the self that exists when unobserved, untouched by the gaze of others?
As I progressed in my journey, I realized that age and societal roles merely skim the surface of my true being. Recent contemplations have led me to question how I can truly perceive my authentic self.
In my pursuit, every revelation of what I believed to be my genuine self dissolved into yet another performance. It's akin to peeling layers of an onion, expecting to reach a solid core, only to find another translucent layer waiting to be unveiled.
"Heautoscopy" encapsulates this ongoing quest to confront the performative nature ingrained within, striving to grasp the elusive reality beneath the layers of personas. Through photography, I strive to capture the essence of the performer and the enigma of authenticity, offering a glimpse into the kaleidoscope of selves that reside within us.